


Buzzcut Season

by forgettolaugh



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Eddie is oblivious, M/M, No Beta, These boys are in love, buck is IN LOVE, i don't know how to tag, make buddie canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 10:07:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22968211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forgettolaugh/pseuds/forgettolaugh
Summary: Buck's tired of waiting.Or, Buck finally tells Eddie how he feels.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 7
Kudos: 273





	Buzzcut Season

**Author's Note:**

> I want to thank everyone for the positive response to my other fic. 
> 
> This fic is inspired by the song i'm so tired by Lauv and Troye Sivan. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Buck hates love. Except he doesn’t. But, after standing across from Eddie (Buck hates love. Except he doesn’t. But, after standing across from Eddie ( _his Eddie_ ) this morning as he talked about spending time with Lena, he hates it. Hates the _thumpthumpthump_ of his heart beating for amber-eyed Eddie who is utterly oblivious. Buck had practically thrown himself at Eddie that night in his apartment after apologizing; he would’ve gotten on his knees that night too if sweet, little, innocent Christopher hadn’t been there.

Buck decides to go out that night, and he thinks the world likes to play endlessly, cruel jokes on him. He’d only gone out to get shitfaced and forget about how miserable he was over _EddieandLena_. Then, he’d looked up from the bar after slamming his shot glass down and saw Taylor Kelly smirking across the bar at him like she was ecstatic about his misery. Before he can make a run for it, Taylor struts across the bar, determination oozing out of her.

“Buck,” Taylor purrs into his neck, her dainty hand loosely clutching his own. “It’s been a while.”

If Buck two point oh didn’t want to sleep with Taylor, then Buck three point oh (who’s vibrating for the opportunity to have _everything_ with Eddie) doesn’t even want to be in the same room as handsy, _I’m a grown woman, Buck_ Taylor who has no problem shoving him into a bathroom stall and doing what she pleases.

Buck before being crushed by thousands of pounds of firetruck; pulmonary embolisms, blood clots, and blood thinners; water everywhere, shouting for Christopher, and the look in Eddie’s eyes when his world almost fell apart; and lawsuits and almost, maybe losing Eddie and Christopher and the whole one eighteen wanted, no _needed_ to feel bodies against him. But, now, Buck doesn’t want to feel just anything or anyone anymore; he wants to feel Eddie whispering the words _I love you, too, Buck_ to the ceiling at two in the morning when they can’t sleep after a bad shift.

So, Buck does what he does best and acts without thinking about the consequences. “I-I’ve got go,” Buck announces, yanking his arm out of Taylor’s grasp; he doesn’t miss the shock that smears itself across her face. He hustles out of the bar, ordering an Uber as he does.

_**~~~** _

The Uber from the bar to Eddie’s house gives Buck some time to think about how Eddie will react when he finds out that his best friend loves him — is in love with him. There’s two possibilities really, Eddie admits that he feels the same way or he doesn’t. Buck keeps repeating that over and over until the car pulls up outside Eddie’s house.

“Thanks man,” Buck mumbles over his shoulder.

The thirty-five steps up the walkway to the door have never felt this daunting; Buck’s heart is threatening to beat out of his chest, and his hands are fumbling with a loose string that he’d nervously ripped off his shirt during the ride over. He stills at the door, considers turning around, but he doesn’t. He’s made it this far, and nothing (not even the worst nerves he’s ever had) will stop him from telling Eddie that he’s in love with him. Buck knocks on the door, possibly a little too hard.

Eddie opens the door, LAFD sweatpants hanging dangerously low on his hips and the drawstring taunting Buck. “B-Buck?” Eddie asks, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

Buck finally realizes that it’s closer to one than to midnight and that most people, Eddie included, are trying to sleep at this time. But, the floodgates in his heart can’t handle being closed anymore, so he’s telling Eddie here, tonight on the front porch of what he wishes was _their_ home.

“Buck? What’s up?” Eddie asks, confused about his best friend’s silence. “Is something wrong?”

The floodgates break then, bringing the mess of mud and branches out of Buck’s heart. “I went out tonight, and I ran into Taylor Kelly. When she said my name, I couldn’t help but think about you. God Eddie, you know me better than she ever did, probably better than Maddie too. And after everything in the past year, g-god Eddie. I-I love you. N-no I’m in love with you.”

“And I know that this is probably super confusing. But, you’re like the last lifeboat, my last chance. You’re it for me Eddie. A-and I get it if you don’t feel the same, but I needed you to know because I-I can’t keep it to myself anymore.”

Buck’s breath is harsh and ragged after talking for so long, but he did it. He _finally_ told Eddie how he felt. It was like a weight had been lifted off his heart. Until he looked at Eddie’s face and for the first time couldn't tell what he was thinking. Buck weighed his options and ultimately the fear of losing Eddie and Christopher and _everything_ they had made together won, so Buck turned and stepped down from the porch. Choking in front of Abby had been less painful than the fear wrapped around his windpipe right now.

He's halfway between the porch and the sidewalk when he realizes that there's no place for him to go. The Uber driver had left long ago, and calling another one would mean waiting. So, he stops then on the cement walkway, too scared to keep moving forward but also too scared to turn around and face Eddie. Buck breathes in and hears the _thumpthumpthump_ of his heart still beating for amber-eyed Eddie who's not so oblivious anymore.

Eddie doesn’t know how to say those three words back, because he did to Shannon and she was ready to sign divorce papers. He can’t lose Buck, can’t risk him running away.

“Buck. Come inside. It’s cold, and I don’t want you to freeze,” Eddie finally responds, practically begging, hoping Buck hears the words he didn’t say like _God, Buck I love you, too_ or _I’ve been falling in love with you since you saved my ass and let Bobby know that Christopher was going to be at the fire station._

When Buck doesn’t move from where he’s standing, Eddie leaves the warmth of the door frame and joins him on the walkway. “C’mon Buck,” Eddie pleads with his hand on Buck’s shoulder. “Come inside.”

Buck follows Eddie inside and kicks his shoes off by the door like always. They sit on the couch, Buck in the crater shaped like him and Eddie halfway between the other side and Buck.

Buck mumbles, “S-so, how was your date?”

“My what?” Eddie questions. “Buck, Lena’s my friend — that’s it.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

They fall into a familiar silence. Buck’s right leg bouncing, nervously up and down is the only recognizable movement between the two. They stay like that for a while, unchanging, afraid of what will happen if either brings up what Buck said outside.

Eddie breaks the silence first, asking, “Are you hungry? Abuela brought some tamales over tonight. I can reheat some for you if you want?”

“Yeah, um. Sure. Tamales sound good,” Buck mumbles.

It’s not until Eddie leaves the room that Buck realizes how exhausted he is. The past sixteen hours had been emotionally draining; plus, he hadn’t gotten much sleep after his shift. He’s tired, and the couch smells like laundry detergent and Eddie. So, he can’t help wanting to sink into it.

Buck’s somewhere between being asleep and falling asleep when Eddie returns with a plate of warm tamales. Eddie huffs out a light chuckle and returns the plate to the kitchen. Then, he grabs a blanket from the hallway cabinet.

Buck looks like a perfectly painted picture of beautiful and vulnerable, Eddie thinks, spread out across the couch. Eddie doesn’t know how Buck trusts so easily after everything that had happened in his life, but he hopes Buck never stops trusting him the way he does.

Eddie carefully drapes the blanket over Buck’s body, sinking to his knees afterwards. Buck looks so soft that Eddie can’t help running his fingers through his blonde hair. The blood coursing through Eddie’s veins is warm and carries Buck’s name to his heart. Eddie wants to be bold like Buck was tonight, so he leans down and presses his lips against Buck’s forehead, gentle and hardly there.

“I love you, too, Buck,” Eddie whispers against Buck’s forehead.

Buck smiles, “I was always hoping you did.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it! Hopefully, I'll find some more inspiration soon. 
> 
> Chat with me on twitter @basicallybuck


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